We're painting the inside of our house for pretty much the first time EVER. Which is pretty sweet since we've been living here for the past 18 years of my life... from pre-school/kindergarten until now. But that meant that we had to pack up everything in our house, put them into boxes, and act like we were moving out and tossing it all into our garage.
It was chaotic.
There was so much going on this past week, and then just getting ready to do all of that and staying up late after work until 2am or 3am was ridiculous. My poor mom got like 4 hrs of sleep every night because she was bagging stuff all weekend; she didn't even get to my parents' own room until the day off :(
But all of this also meant that they tarped EVERYTHING. Our clothes, anything left inside, our TV, our DVR, our computers, chairs, AND BEDS.
So kind of spur of the moment, we all got kicked out of the house.
and now i'm living in Brea for the next week :) lol random...
or not really...
We're living at the house that i pretty much was born in. When i was born, i came back to this house, and so it's kind of a trip to be back. I see my old room, and i remember things about the house like where my dad used to throw me up in the air, and then he'd catch me... and how one time he threw me up, i flipped, and he caught me upside-down by my ankles... this was NOT on purpose........ lol. that was the last time he threw me up.
or I remember there used to be a fake ficus tree near the balcony, and i think it was there to deter me from thinking i could jump off or something... and i remember leaning over and wondering what it'd be like to jump...
or the best place... THE TOY CLOSET!
And all a lot of good memories. My uncle lives at the house now, so it's not really house, but there's a sense that i have a lot of good memories in that house, and even if they were bad memories (i remember almost drowning in our jicuzzi), i turned out ok, and i'm happy to be alive and where I am now :)
If you're in brea, let's hang out for the next week! :D
Today, Pastor Curtis asked us to read an essay that he had added to the sermon outline, and it was an essay by AW Tozer called "That Incredible Christian".
It was a really interesting article/essay that he wrote... I felt like I had to reread every sentence over and over, and at the end... just not left with very much other than exactly what Tozer said Christianity was full of: contradictions.
They were contradictions of every sort. Contradictions that nothing would make sense; contradictions that separate the Christian man from the worldy man.
"the Christian soon learns that if he would be victorious as a son of heaven among the men on earth he must not follow the common pattern of mankind, but rather the contrary. That he may be safe he puts himself in jeapardy; he loses his lief to esave it and is in danger of losing it if he attempts to preserve it. He goes down to get up. If he refuses to go down he is already down, but when he starts down he is on his way up."
The beginning of Tozer's essay begins with this, that "The truth of the cross is revealed in its contraditions... the gospel is addrssed not to reason by to faith. What can be proved requires no faith to accept. Faith rests upon the character of God, not upon the demonstrations of laboratory or logic."
And I don't think I have any big epiphanies that make any huge thoughts, but along with this, just the simple idea of how opposite a true Christian's life must be, along with the fact that it cannot be reasons. Almost that the faith that we believe and trust in really makes no sense at all to those that are not of the faith. What we believe in is actually so ridicuous. "To die is to gain?" "To live to die?" It makes zero sense, and yet we claim to others that this is what our heart believes in and that this is what we claim to believe. This is what we claim to lay out lives down for, and this is what we claim to be the greatest treasure of all. To be obedient to the Lord in faith that the lives we live for are to be the lives that lead us on the path to righteousness.
I swear; the more I read... and definitely the longer I leave the college life and the comforts of what I know, and especially the more I read the Bible, I am left feeling quite stupid; how little knowledge I know! I write this weary and worried; "How does this sound? Am I saying anything worthwhile? Do I make sense? Did I even interpret Tozer's essay correctly??"
And I am worried about how I've read it. But maybe if there's one thing I get, it's that the life God calls us to lead is so contrary to what we live by, and that even the word doesn't make sense of we do not live by faith first to believe that Christ has died for our sins, and he calls us to live this way, the way of the incredible Christian.
Here's a post, "steph cheng style" (meaning a website post, and then commentary/thoughts/WISDOM!!)...
It's an article that I saw on the OC Register about how Breast Enlargements have become the #1 plastic surgery operation done in OC (we are incredibly superficial here in the OC, that's just axiomatic [ooo! GRE study word!! Look it up]).
Yes. Awkward. This is my page; I'm a boy. But honestly, what got to me were women's reasons for implants:
"Some suggest that women get breast implants to improve their self-image.
Robert Grant, president of the Allergan Medical division at Irvine-based implant maker Allergan Inc. says surveys show that women "aren't getting them to attract men, but to feel greater confidence in their femininity."
"We're supposed
to look like Barbie dolls. We're supposed to have these huge breasts,
waists of 22, and hips of a young man. Is that fair? No," she says."
Now, hear me say that the pointo of this post is NOT to encourage breast implants (for a handful of different reason at that)...
HOWEVER, hear me also say that I've been giving it some thought, and whereas most people at the bottom of that article were bashing and saying how ridiculous, stupid, and insecure these women are and condemning them for their sins of superficiality, I don't think that's fair to say that to these women.
Who are we to say that we are so secure and confident in ourselves that we never feel pressured to fall into a fad, or a trend, or a simple desire that culture and the world values? Yes, of course, it probably could be our own human weakness that allows us to fall into these places were we care more about what other people think about us that anything. I'm not saying that all the reasons in that article are true, but I'm pinpointing the one that I posted and saying how I fall into that too.
Everybody has been laughing at my glasses. Yes, they're prescription lenses, but it's close to nothing and I wear it for asthetic purposes. Honestly, there is no reason that I am wearning these glasses other than for the sole purpose of looking older, being more respected, and looked at with more credibility, than a short Asian kid that is 14 yrs ago.
I get that ALL the time. And it's hard. This new phase in life called "The Working World" is ridiculous, and i feel the pressure all the time to perform.
And there's my glasses.
"glasses"... they're completely unnecessary; probably hurt my 20/20 perfect vision actually. But I really really like wearing it to work. honestly, I put them on when I get to my school or work, and I wear them whenever I'm meeting with other people. It's honestly just a sense of comfort for me to be working knowing that I, at the VERY, ABSOLUTE least LOOK like I'm an adult and I have some kind of knowledge that at least, on the surface, people can trust more than a short Asian kid that looks like he just got his driver's license.
And let's be honest, that is how this world works. On appearances. On what CAN be seen. Oh yes, my heart and passion for work and for helping people does make a difference; probably more than anything in the long run. But for whatever reason, without my glasses, I'm Clark Kent, and when I put them on, i honest to God feel like Superman. I'm hiding my insecurity behind my glasses, and putting them on makes me feel like I have superhuman powers and simply confidence in myself beyond belief.
Maybe my "glasses" are my "boob job". (Please don't make a visual of that)
But honestly... a poor substitute of how I have changed something about the surface of my identity to make me rely on something with no foundation.
Hear me say that this is no saying a things like this are normal, permissible, or that I even think it's "ok". I'm just at awe moreless at the people who are so quick to condemn when in reality, we all are hiding our insecurity in one way or another.
Jesus says he who is without sin shall cast the first stone; I, for one, will put my stone down.
Ok, so I couldn't resist... had to make this make post less serious too
While in college, my favorite places to go shop were places like The Gap, or American Eagle, or Hollister, and other clean-cut more beach type places to buy clothes. What was nice was that they were a lil more on the cheaper side than other OCish stores (minus choosing the smoozy "Abercrombie", of course)!
But funny to notice, I realized I no longer wanted to shop in these stores anymore... I found myself being more attracted to an older crowd, namely J.Crew!
Call it growing older and realizing to myself that, at least for my jobs and positions that I'm applying for right now, I can't usually go to work in Rainbow Sandals, jeans, and a plain T-shirt (sad, i know). I found myself in J.Crew admiring the argoyle (sp?) stripes, and sweaters, and scarves, and these some more sophistocated styles to help myself grow/look older..... GROSS!
And just to show you, this is... well, pretty much what I wear almost everytime I go to work! Some kind of light-colored button down dress shirt, without a tie, Chino-colored slacks with brown dress shoes, and yes, you see it here for yourself... FAKE "i'm smart" glasses :) hahahahaha
And that's the "grown-up" me. Honestly, it's getting a little hard... and not that i don't like to look nice and professional with more dressy clothes... but I used to love just wearing board shorts and sandals everywhere! And something else I've realized by looking thru my wardrobe of "dress clothes", there is a VERY big difference between professional clothes and between "clubbin' i'm HAWT" clothes! Hahaha, all of my clothes are the latter! All dark colors and stripey and yeah... hahaha. I need to go out and buy lighter colors that I can wear to look older!
What's funny is that I used to dress in nice clothes all the time. I thought i'd love a job where i could wear dress suits and ties and shirt and shoes all the time! Heck, in high school i wanted to wear dress clothes to school!
(The funny this is that what I now realized is that as i was simply trying to look older, dressing up in the clothes i chose just made me look like an "LiL Azn ThUG" and definitely not really making me look any older or sophistocated, hhahaha... i didn't have my fake glasses yet to ACTUALLY make me look smarter! )
Sigh... growing up and choosing jobs where i can't go in like a bum... sadness..........
OH YEAH, and here is a picture, especially for the gf!
Got a call from Brent yesterday, and he told me while he was away this
summer in Hawaii, he might've ran by little stream at UH Manoa that I
tried to jump over.
